Keeping Care Personal, Even When Memory Fades

As dementia progresses, many individuals lose the ability to communicate their personal care preferences—what they find comforting, what makes them feel vulnerable, and how they wish to be treated during daily care routines.

Planning ahead for personal care and dignity protection is one of the most important—and often overlooked—steps in advance health planning. It’s not just about clinical decisions. It’s about honouring identity, values, and emotional safety, right to the end of life.

With tools like Evaheld, families and individuals can record personal care preferences and store them securely in the Evaheld Legacy Vault, where they’re easily shared with carers and loved ones when the time comes.

Why Personal Care Planning Matters in Dementia

According to Advance Care Planning Australia, truly person-centred care considers not only physical health, but emotional, spiritual, and dignity-based needs.

Without clear guidance, well-meaning carers may unintentionally:

• Use language or tone that causes distress
• Handle intimate care in a way that feels invasive
• Provide grooming or clothing that doesn’t reflect the person’s identity
• Disregard modesty, gender preferences, or cultural sensitivities

Planning ahead allows you to protect your loved one’s sense of autonomy, dignity, and identity—especially during personal tasks such as bathing, dressing, and toileting.

What to Include in a Personal Care Preferences Plan

1. Bathing and Hygiene Preferences

• Preferred time of day for bathing
• Gender of carer for intimate hygiene
• Type of products used (soap, shampoo, lotion)
• Level of privacy desired
• Rituals (e.g. drying order, after-bath tea, music)

2. Clothing and Grooming Choices

• Style of dress (e.g. comfortable vs formal)
• Makeup, jewellery, or accessories
• Haircuts, beards, or head coverings
• Special care for culturally or spiritually significant garments

The Family Legacy Series offers templates to capture these preferences in a structured, respectful way.

3. Toileting and Continence Care

• Privacy level requested
• Phrases the person uses for toileting
• Known triggers for embarrassment or distress
• Assistance level preferred or accepted

Resources from Nurse Info help carers approach these tasks with empathy and confidence.

4. Touch and Physical Contact Preferences

• Whether hugs or hand-holding are welcome
• Areas of the body that should not be touched
• Comfort with physical proximity during care

These preferences can be recorded through video or voice memos on Evaheld, helping carers better understand the person even when they can no longer speak for themselves.

5. Spiritual and Cultural Care

• Prayer, blessing, or meditation rituals
• Specific practices before or after personal care
• Modesty preferences based on faith or upbringing

You can include these in your Advance Health Directive and upload them to the Evaheld Legacy Vault, so they are not forgotten during transitions in care.

Carer Tips for Preserving Dignity

According to Dementia Support Australia, carers should always:

• Explain each step of care as it happens
• Use the person’s name and preferred terms
• Offer choices where possible
• Respect silence or withdrawal as communication
• Avoid rushing personal care tasks

The Evaheld blog explores how legacy recordings and values-based preferences help carers maintain emotional connection and respect, even during non-verbal stages of dementia.

Supporting the Sandwich Generation

If you’re caring for ageing parents while raising your own children, planning early can reduce emotional strain. You’ll have:

• Clear documents to guide agency carers
• Less stress making care decisions on your own
• A way to include children in conversations about respect and empathy

As the Online Will Blog explains, including personal care notes in legal planning can prevent conflict and uncertainty down the line.

How to Record and Store Preferences

Use Evaheld to:

• Upload written notes or photos of preferred routines
• Record the person explaining their grooming or care habits
• Share care preferences with medical and residential teams
• Link care preferences directly to your Advance Health Directive

With secure storage in the Evaheld Legacy Vault, only trusted recipients will have access when it's needed.

When to Update the Plan

Review and update the plan:

• After changes in mobility or independence
• If a new carer or facility is introduced
• When spiritual or cultural preferences evolve
• Every 6–12 months as part of a broader care review

Final Thoughts

Personal care is deeply human. It involves trust, vulnerability, and comfort. Planning ahead ensures these moments are not clinical transactions, but compassionate connections.

By documenting preferences and protecting dignity, you offer your loved one something more lasting than medical intervention: honour, respect, and selfhood—preserved until the very end.